"Daddy, You finaly found your freedom. I know that you will look down on us as an angel. Rest in Peace". Love Jaimy
In
May 1995, we lived in the Netherlands again after our ‘Switzerland adventure’
of 4 years, my husband got a aching throat. After being to the doctor he was
send to the hospital for research, it was there he got the next information:”
You can come back after 6 months when the symptoms are still there. We don’t
have any indication something is wrong and the risk of cancer is only 10%.”
For
a 2nd opinion he visited our homeopathic doctor in Breda and after an
electroacupuncture he advised my husband: “Manage your own body ask for a biopsy,
there are signs telling me it isn’t good!” So we did and in June everyone was
shocked about the outcome: A very rare and malignant tumor at the thyroid! One
month later he got operated, a surgery of 10 hours spread over 2 days, with the
risk of bleeding to death while removing the lymph nodes along the arteries.
Because of the loss of quality of life they saved the vocal cord and the facial
nerve. It were nerve racking days, especially the removal of the lymph nodes
asked for precision. We, his parents and I took a drink when everything turned
out fine. During his recovery my husband suffered from an infection at his
chest wound, an ugly scar remained. I admired him walking openly with this scar
on his chest at the swimming pool.
Every
time when they studied his blood levels and he got to know that the activity of
the tumor was increased he felt depressed. He chose not to examine this as much
as they wanted. Even doing an operation wasn’t an option anymore, he got
traumatized by the first one! Also the question of how far to go removing
tissue, organs, nerves en muscles, was a very realistic consideration. The use
of regular medicines wasn’t an option, chemotherapy and radiation wouldn’t reduce
the tumor, so we chose for the alternative/ complementary medicines and
therapy.
Two
years later, my husband was fulltime at work again, our daughter became blind
by a tumor. There wasn’t any understanding at his work when he needed leave for
the treatments of our daughter and her hospitalizatons. Eventually he got
fired. He tried two other jobs for 9 and 6 months and didn’t succeed. He
reported himself as ill and finally got incapacitated. He tried to hold on to
life and made it bearable by attending some diets like Moerman and Houtsmuller,
took JuicePlus (capsules with dried fruit and vegetables), got ozone injections
from a natural doctor in Oosterhout and did processwork like The Journey. He
felt mentally more at peace and freed from his negative memories in life.
Ten
years later, he visited his internist, she was really stunned to see him in
front of her with this big tumor inside his chest and metastases at his
vertebral kolo. He tried a study at the Academic Hospital in Utrecht, they said
it would be without any side effects, he was so in pain. While driving home
from the treatment, he had to stop the car to recover before he was able to
move on.
Sometimes
we had conversations about the end of his life, what to do and how he wanted
the cremation to be organized. He said:” When it is good for you and the kids,
it is fine with me!” His biggest fear was to choke and have a lot of pain. At
first he wanted an euthanisian, later on he didn’t. Our family doctor reassured
that he didn’t have to be in pain and
surely he wouldn’t choke!
Two
years later he died of a high dose of medicines, his colon perforated and he
couldn’t stand the pain. In the beginning my hands reduced the pain, he had so much
benefith from the healing energy through my hands, REIKI! The worst part at the
day he died was to hear him scream during the scans and medical examinations. I
heard it through the walls, terrible! A co assistant said:” We can do surgery
even when his lungs are out of his body!” I was perplex and thought:” Does he
know which medical history this patient has?” and told him:
“It’s
enough, his life is over, he can’t take it anymore!”
After
that a surgeon came in and said:” We won’t make your husband happy by operating
him!” What a relieve to hear this.
After
eight painful hours the application of morfine got increased, we chose passive sedetion. Just
before installing the sleepmedication the kids came in. They had a short limit
of time to say goodbye. He wished us a happy life and we kissed goodbye! That
night he passed away, freed from his pain. We were happy he could let go the
fight against his pain for 12 years and the deterioration of his body. It felt
double, on one hand life could go on and on the other hand there was the
missing of a companion a dad for my
kids.
